IVF begins (My Journey - Part 3)

4 years…. 


4 years….that’s how long it took me to get to this stage. They were a  long hard 4 years, especially when all your friends were having babies and you would go round for hugs and cuddles, but secretly a small part of you was dying inside.  I found it particularly hard when my nieces and nephews came along…I don’t know why, I was elated for them, but found it really upsetting at the same time, continuously thinking “why not us”?.  It just seemed so unfair when some people could fall pregnant without even trying, yet I had to jump through all these hoops……😢

 

I can remember how happy I was when I got my letter through to say that my name had reached the top of the IVF waiting list, inviting me to go for a screening appointment.  We both had to provide photographic identification, fill in forms and be screened for HIV and Hepatitis B and C, my husband also had to do his bit…..ha 😜.  We were also lucky, because the NHS that we came under funded 3 treatment cycles, other areas only get 2 (there is a campaign right now about this issue scream4ivf).  I can also remember sitting in the hospital waiting room on that first appointment, overwhelmed by how busy it was and realising just how common a problem infertility was!!!!

I’ve decided to go into a wee bit of detail about my first cycle, just in case anyone who is reading this needs the info for their own comparison, so please bear with me…😊.

This is where the fun began….not!  Healthy eating and no drinking and the rollercoaster ride of emotions that was ensured to happen!!!  I had to go for a hormone profile and was given my Prostap injection home to self-administer and depending on my bloods (as you know from my previous posts, I don’t have a cycle as such, so this was to determine where I was by my hormone levels).  Prostap is given approximately 21 days into your cycle to supress your cycle, this then brings on your period.  I then had to go for bloods tests and an internal scan to see if I was ready to go onto the next stage. 

The results of this showed that I was ready to start my hormone injections…..eeeek!  And to this day, I still think my husband secretly loved injecting me…because I couldn’t do it myself!! 

I was on injections for around 8-10 days and then I had to go for another internal scan to check the progress.  The hormone injections were to help increase the number of eggs your ovaries produce.  I can remember being sooo nervous when I went for my scan to check on my progress, because this is where my journey could have ended for my first cycle.  If you don’t meet the criteria for the amount/size of eggs produced then you don’t go to the next stage, this being egg retrieval.  Thank god I did and my egg collection date was set. 

I had to take ‘Snuff’, this was inhaled in one nostril 4 times a day and it had to be done 3 days before my egg retrieval.  Then 2 days before, a booster injection had to be self-administered, then I was ready to rock and roll!

 The day of egg retrieval came and I couldn’t eat or drink because egg retrieval is done under sedation and my husband had to play his part ….and I can remember him saying he was mortified as he could hear people laughing outside the room, while he was doing his bit for society 😳 Well, it’s hardly a barrel of laughs having your legs up in stirrups on a regular basis….was my response!

When I came to, I was informed that 5 eggs were collected and I would have to wait a couple of days to see if any of them fertilised.  Those couple of days were awful, it’s all you can think about…you just want to know, and nothing takes your mind off it.  Sadly when I phoned to find out how they had gone, none of them had fertilised😢!!  I was devastated, there was no consoling me, although my husband and family tried to comfort me…there was nothing they could say or do that could make the situation any better and I know my husband felt helpless.  I can’t describe how I felt at the time, it was just devastation, but I had to pick myself back up, as I still had two attempts left.

 As it was coming up to Christmas, I decided to enjoy my time over the festive period and booked myself in to start my second attempt at the end of February.

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Infertility (My Journey - Part 2)

Infertility…. I hate that word….but this is where the real journey began.
 

Infertility Treatment

I was referred to the hospital (NHS) and started a fertility drug called Clomid (Clomiphene Citrate).  For those of you that don’t know what Clomid is, it’s a drug that stimulates ovulation and I started off on 50mg. 

The idea is that you are supposed to take this on day 2 of your cycle for 5 days, but because nothing is ever straight forward for me…well that’s how I felt….and due to the fact that I didn’t have a cycle, I had to take other drugs to bring on my period.  Then scans at the hospital followed to assess how well I was responding to the treatments (I won’t go into details about eggs/follicles, as I’m sure you have read it all before). 

Well…..safe to say, that didn’t work!  So I was upped to 100mg and that didn’t work.  Eventually, I was upped again to 150mg.  I ended up taking 150mg for 4 cycles (so 6 attempts in all) to no avail! 

Although it was a long time ago, I can still remember the side effects…vividly!! I think I might have scarred my husband for life, no really!! He definitely deserves a medal for my mood swings.  I can remember one time in great detail and yes I can laugh about it now, but my husband might not agree! It all it started with my husband buying me the wrong kind of ice cream, which, I flipped out about and put in the bin in my craziness!! I’m not a head case honest, it’s just I was in hormone hell…one minute I was snappy and the other I was really emotional.  The night sweats weren’t great either and I can remember having headaches and being bloated….these are all the things they don’t tell you about, yuck!  And if it had worked, all these side effects would have been worth it, but unfortunately it didn’t work for me.

 So onto the next phase….IVF.

I would go onto the waiting list for IVF, but due to long waiting times it took about year before I was seen.  Yes, a YEAR!!!  So my consultant asked me if I would like to try ovarian drilling while I was waiting, which of course I said yes to, because I was willing to try anything.

Ovarian drilling is done under general anaesthetic, a small incision is made in your belly button and then your abdomen is filled with carbon dioxide to prevent damage to your internal organs.   Special tools are then used to drill small holes in your ovaries.  It sounds awful, but it wasn’t as bad as it sounds – honest!  Although I was really sore for a couple of days after.  Unfortunately, this didn’t make any real difference either. 

Soul destroying as it was, at least there was still my IVF to look forward to and this gave me hope of realising my dream of becoming a mummy.

Sadly I was to find out that my journey would not be as straightforward as I hoped.  You can read more about this journey in blog 3.   

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